When You are Angry

Date: August 26, 2010

I am about to lose my temper earlier. I'm angry. Good thing though, I was able to control myself. God is good.

I was about to become angry because somehow, my friend seem to point fingers on me, redirecting the attention to me that it is all my fault when it is otherwise. I know that arguing with him will just make the conversation endless, pointless. So I tried to keep my cool. I have to have a shock absorber so I talk to a couple of friends. Afterward, I searched a passage in the Bible about anger (angry); and here is God's response to my search:

Be not quick to let your spirit be angry; because wrath is in the heart of the foolish.

~ Ecclesiastes 7:9

So, when you are angry, try to keep your cool. You're not foolish. Are you?

Pagbabago

The only thing that’s constant in this life is CHANGE (PAGBABAGO). It’s inevitable.

That’s how I see life. Really, as planet Earth revolves around its axis, change goes with it. Some may be so little that you can’t even notice it; but some changes are dramatic that drastically changes your life – forever.

Now, no matter what these changes are, there’s one thing I am really hopeful for – that it’ll be for the better and for the greater glory of GOD.

As for me, there had been a lot of changes in my life in my almost 29 years of existence. One that I’ll be sharing here is something that had imprinted a perspective, a prerogative, in my individuality.

I believe the biggest change in my life started when my father left for work even before I was born.

My father at the airport

Hence, my mother gave birth to me, with my father in foreign land to give us greener pasture – something which I haven’t realized soon enough.

So I lived a simple life. I play. I help in household chores. And in one of those moments, while I was helping my mother doing the laundry, I uttered “Ina, hindi na pala natin kailangan ang Ama. (Mother, I think we need not father anymore.)” Well, those words came out from a 4-year old immature me. I hardly remember what my mother replied; all I know is that I made the most stupid statement in my life back then. I just know that I had mentioned those words because I am living my childhood without my father, and everything seemed to be fine, if not perfect.

I grew up and started to study. I celebrated my birthdays without my father – although he comes home once a year. I had my cake, my ice cream, my spaghetti, my family, my friends, and my classmates to celebrate it with. Everything still seems to work perfectly fine in my life.

My first birthday! Notice my siblings under the table?

My birthday when I was in Grade 5. I just came well from sickness.

Then my father came home, this time, for good. He’s sick. And on Valentine’s Day, in 1998, the good Lord came for his soul. I weep. I grieve. I lost my father – for good. I never expect this biggest CHANGE to happen in my life right before I graduated high school.

Realizations came afterward.

1. I told myself that I would not want to work abroad if I had to leave my family behind.
2. I feel hopeless for the time I had spent with my father seems to be too short to show him that I care.
3. I regret telling my mother the most stupid statement back when I was still young.
4. I love my family. They are my most precious treasures. No matter what CHANGE would happen in my life – I’m rest assured that there’s a constant love I’ll get from them.
5. Somehow, it made me love my country THIS MUCH.
   

I entered college with only a PUV supporting my studies. I now know the sacrifices my father had gone through just to send me to school. Luckily, I earned scholarship from DOST. I persevere. I graduated with honors. I worked for three (3) companies now – all here in the land where I was born – the Philippines. Now, I had a couple of job opportunities at Singapore. But my heart tells me to stay and work here in the Philippines instead – a prerogative instituted by me because of my father.

My Father's tomb

Looking back, I know that "that major change in my life" brought greater glory to God – because it strengthens the bond within our family. And although changes come, some good things remain. I celebrated birthdays and special occasions still with cakes. And I am surrounded by my family and relatives to give me the warmest love in the world.

My 26th Birthday. Simple celebration with my family.

2007 New Year's Party with Manalaysay Family.

Valentine's Day 2009. 11 Years Death Anniversary of my father. I now have my angel (Paulo) to share love with my mother.

My 28th Birthday. Still, a simple celebration with my family.

Welcoming 2010.

I know I may not be able to have another family picture like this one:

My Family Picture

But deep in my heart, I know I love my family sooooo much! And yes, I (we) need my father.

Goldilocks is sharing my prerogative, I suppose. Changes come with them too. They’ve got new look right now.


But good things remain – they still got good food. And like me, it embraces our country – they took pride in Pinoy food.

I Miss Myself

Photo Credits: www.imu.as

Merely looking at the face of the girl in the above picture says it all - my emotions.

I should have posted this a week ago; but I just cannot find the right motivation to do so. And when I don't have that push to write, I normally dig into my archives and read what I had written. From what I had written before, I see that I had become a different blogger now. This blog had been my sanctuary for less than a year I guess. This had been my refuge, my shelter; the only one who knows the deepest emotions I had back then. But everything's history.

I had transformed this blog into something that earns real money online. Then, after a while, I once more transformed this into my running blog. Well, I'm happy with that. I had earned as much $ that I never expected. (I'm jumping for joy back then with a mere $0.50 earning, ha ha.) And when I get addicted to running, this had been full of my running adventures and misadventures. (See my running milestones?)

Hmmm, am I really missing myself?

I guess not.

I'm still myself. I'm still the same simple Madelin turned MinnieMadz turned MinnieRunner. I still dreamed of being a housewife (ha ha, that's my ambition back when I was in Grade 2). I still love my family, they are my strength and my fortress. And no questions asked, I'm still truly, madly, deeply in love with my angel, the love of my life. Hmmm, admittedly, I'm still not good at friendships - I still, most of the time, invest too much affection when I should have not.

So what am I missing if I'm not missing myself?

I guess I'm missing my blog. Since this blog had been known to many (online and offline friends), I find it awkward posting My Unrevealed Thoughts in here. Unlike before, when there's only a few individual who visits my blog, I can frankly post whatever I feel. But now, I become more cautious, for I don't want any trouble. (Here I go again, wanting to please everybody. *sigh*)

A friend told me to create another blog, a private one, an online diary/journal. Seems like I don't want to entertain the idea. I am currently maintaining five (5) blogs. Having another one would be too much. Moreover, I still want to gain readership. Let's say, I wanted to retain my anonymity in order to fearlessly post what I wanted to. Or maybe, some things are better left unsaid. But somehow, having something to look back and read, knowing how you feel at that very moment, and how you survive or get pass through it; gives a priceless smile on your face and undefinable happiness in your heart. And that is exactly what I am missing.

I'm strange right? I'm just crazy! Forgive my foolishness!

I Run Faster; He Walks Faster

Wow, it has been 10 days since I blogged here. What happened?

So what has been in me lately? I had a no show at Run to Read, I thought of leaving running for a while (but obviously, I changed my mind), and I miss myself.

RUNNING AGAIN

Honestly, the laziness of waking up so early in the morning (2:30 AM) bit me. Good thing though, Tiktakbo 3: Isa, Dalawa, Takbo's venue is at UP Diliman - meaning, I can wake up as late as 3:30 AM, yey! I set my alarm at 3 AM (not 3:30 AM) so I can still press the 'Snooze' button, LOL! After a couple of snoozes, I get up, eat my breakfast, took a bath, and set myself to go.

My angel and I arrived at UP Diliman a few minutes before the gun start of the 18K category. We still got enough time to pee and deposit our things at the baggage area :).

OUR FIRST COUPLE'S RUN

To date, this is our first couple's run. And definitely, I got no plans of leaving him and just meet him at the finish line. I planned at running side-by-side with the love of my life ♥. And so we did.

This is what I can really call a fun run. I enjoyed every moment of it - together with my angel. We chat, we run, we walk, and we had a good laugh.

I RUN FASTER; HE WALKS FASTER

Didn't you find it strange? Indeed, I run faster than him. I can finish a 10K at 1:05, he can do it in 1:10. My endurance keeps me running longer, and maybe that made me run faster than him. But during the course of the race, when he stops for a walk break, I cannot pace with him by walking. I have to jog; otherwise, I have to hold his hand to signal him to slowdown, hee hee.

One funny thing that we did was to pace with the leading 18K runners as they ran past against us. I overheard a runner behind us saying, "Kuya, hintay." Then my angel and I ran with the leading 18K runner, and I fall short. I told my angel, "Mahal, sige ikaw nalang." Then he stopped. It is just impossible for us to pace with them, ha ha.

FINISHED? ALREADY?

On to the finish line, we spotted a couple with the guy carrying his partner. Then I teased him, "Mahal, tara, buhatin din kita, ha ha." Well, I expected a gimmick for the couples run category, but there's none.

See the couple in front of me? The guy's carrying his partner.

After crossing the finish line, and getting our cold Pocari Sweat, I asked my angel to have a cool down; and so we did. But, can you call it a cool down? When we had run/walk a total of 5K? Oh well, we just enjoyed UP and its trees.

Posing about 1KM away from the finish line

Pang-runner's profile :)

Love of my life ♥

The Strathletes
Ian, Madz, Zen, Jem, and Cris

Go Papa Leo :)

-----
Race Name: Tiktakbo 3: Isa, Dalawa, Takbo
Race Distance: 6K Couples Run
Official Rank: 30/
Official Time: 0:48:57
----

Home Run

I have been missing a lot from our adiNation Ortigas sessions. I can't remember the last time that I joined them. I don't even have my regular UPD runs. What's happening to me? Is my running passion slowly waning?

Not really.

I began decreasing my social runs because of personal reasons. It is becoming so tiring for me to run for an hour or so then have to travel for an hour or more until I got home. Not to mention that I wanted to save more money for the future. However, I don't wanna miss running. I still wanted to run a full marathon someday (in Boston, ha ha). I know it can wait, personal matters are deemed important over running.

In order not to miss running, I still intended to run at home. But most of the time, it takes away my sanity thinking of where I could run back in my hometown. I'm afraid of the dogs, the motorists, and the bystanders. If only I live near UPD, I could at least run thrice a week. *sigh* But I gotta run; hence, I run in our backyard - I had my Home Run.

My run become more enjoyable because I have a companion - a running buddy. And she's no other than my three (3) year old niece, Stephanie.




But since I'm in two weeks off from running (I guess), I was only able to run for 20 minutes. Nonetheless, I enjoyed it.

What do you want for dinner?

“What do you want for dinner?”

This is the most common question my mother would ask me every time I leave home for work. My normal response would be sinigang, my favorite food ever. But sometimes, whenever I have a craving, I would request for dinuguan. But requesting for such is not that easy for my sister-in-law do not eat dinuguan. Her reaction would be a stunning “ewww”.

Although I find it weird how some don’t want to eat dinuguan when I can eat as much rice as I can when its our viand; I cannot argue for there were certain food that I don’t eat as well while it was someone else’ favorite.

This uncanny thing about food does not necessarily mean that one just don’t find the food appealing. Sometimes, a certain law prohibits them to do so. A friend of mine, an INC, does not eat dinuguan. Same is true with the Muslims – I had a couple of friends too.

With my connections growing, with friends not limited to Catholics (my angel is a Christian if you may ask); I guess it is just appropriate for me to be aware of the food and products that is permissible (Halal) or not for them (Muslims).

If you are on the same thoughts as I am, I recommend you check the Halal food guide site created to put up a comprehensive listing of Halal-certified food and products here in the Philippines. With this knowledge, you’ll be able to know which ones to offer your Muslim friends; hence, not offending them (or their belief).

Halal Certified Food and Products Homepage

This Halal products guide is just beginning – list is not yet complete. It only consists of 20 food and products. But the number is growing for the site administrator is accepting company and product inclusion in the listing.

More so, Get updated on Halal certified food and products in Facebook.

My Teeth

I am quite curious of my dream a couple of days ago. I dreamed of losing my teeth. Yes, I said teeth. But no, they did not drop from my mouth; I kept them intact as possible. However, the pain of losing one feels real as I woke up from such dream.

I asked some of my online friends for the meaning of such a dream; and I got a number of replies.

Then just last night, I dreamed of having braces.

Hmmm, seems like my dreams are just reminding me (or is waking my subconscious) that I need to visit the dentist in the near future. I need to find time.

This afternoon, I had stumbled upon a health forum site. I immediately checked on their Dentistry Forum section and read about braces. Members of the forum seem to be pretty active. They do answer questions of their co-members enthusiastically.

Probably, I should really see a dentist next week. I’ll have my prophylaxis and most likely, I’d ask my dentist for advices.

It's More Than Just a Lunch Date

I had been invited by my fairy for a lunch date last Wednesday. And yes, I am too excited to meet her after more than a year. Instead of just freeing my lunch time, I already make myself available at lunch time onwards. I had my early out then (good thing I'm on a flexible schedule) and meet my lunch dates - Mommy Beth, Tita Pat, and Thania.

Our first stop is at Cookbook Kitchen (of course, to have our lunch). Too bad I was not able to take pictures there. I'm shy, really. My order was (you guessed it right) Pesto (my all-time favorite) that comes with mini ciabatta; Thania had creamy shrimp linguine (hindi man lang ako binigyan, LOL!); while Mommy Beth and Tita Pat had the bestseller - Parmesan Crusted White Fish.

Parmesan Crusted White Fish

After lunch, we had our dessert at Golden Spoon. Mommy Beth had long been telling me that frozen yogurt (froyo) here is best compared to my current favorite - Red Mango. What I like about the store is that they offer free taste of their froyo before you fall into ordering something that you will never like. I first tried the Old Fashioned Vanilla flavor, it tastes like ice cream - it makes me guilty of the calories though, ha ha. With that, I had another taste of the plain froyo, the Simply Tart. We only ordered mini's and I'm the only one who had toppings (sliced almonds). Again, I am unable to take pictures (nahihiya pa rin ako).

Golden Spoon. I love it, except the strawberries of course.

Indeed, this is way better than Red Mango. I just love my froyo to be real frozen. Probably that's the reason why I like Red Mango over The White Hat.

After finishing our mini's, we headed back to Mommy Beth's crib. And that's the only moment that I was able to take pictures.

with Mommy Beth and Thania
(Ang itim natin Thania!)

See their family picture? ♥

with Mommy Beth and Tita Pat

Indeed, what transpired last Wednesday is More Than Just a Lunch Date. I had a number of firsts (first time to meet Tita Pat, first time to dine in Cookbook and Golden Spoon, first time at Mommy Beth's place, and yes, first time to have a meal with them); I had a good conversation with them (despite the fact that I am not that social offline, I'm more talkative online kasi); and most of all, I am just glad that once more, my fairy had been the way to make Thania and I meet after more than a year. Really, if not for that invite, Thania and I may not be able to see each other again for the longest time. It just makes me utter that,

Life is full of surprises!

Learning for Today

Last Tuesday, I got a number of learning that I really wanted to share.

SOME THINGS ARE BETTER LEFT UNSAID

Photo Credits: Idea Sandbox

There are really things that are better left unsaid. And there are things that are better left unknown too. Also, there are things that are better left undone; and the list goes on. Sometimes, it is better that we don't have any idea on certain things to get us out of trouble, or even just being annoyed. And... I guess I don't want to elaborate it here... for it is better left unsaid, right?

MONEY VS FRIENDS


If you are about to choose between money and friends, choose your 'true friends'. Both are hard to earn, I know. But which one's harder to lose? And which one can give you 'real happiness'? For me, I am not really that tight on money (although I am thrift). I am not really bothered when I lend a friend a buck or two. If he failed to remember it, I let it be. I just won't lend him money the next time. But I won't go on confronting him for his unpaid debt. I value friendship more over money. Besides, money can't give me happiness; and NO, I can't buy happiness. But be wise, like money, some friends can be fake.

IN ORDER TO AVOID SIN, AVOID TEMPTATION

Photo Credits: Comfort for Bereavement

I guess I need not expound on this one. I just wanted to remind myself that sin is not inevitable. If you wanted to avoid sin, you must avoid temptation (no matter what the cause). Above all, LOVE GOD.