Photo Credits: www.imu.asMerely looking at the face of the girl in the above picture says it all - my emotions.
I should have posted this a week ago; but I just cannot find the right motivation to do so. And when I don't have that push to write, I normally dig into my archives and read what I had written. From what I had written before, I see that I had become a different blogger now. This blog had been my sanctuary for less than a year I guess. This had been my refuge, my shelter; the only one who knows the deepest emotions I had back then. But everything's history.
I had transformed this blog into something that earns real money online. Then, after a while, I once more transformed this into my running blog. Well, I'm happy with that. I had earned as much $ that I never expected. (I'm jumping for joy back then with a mere $0.50 earning, ha ha.) And when I get addicted to running, this had been full of my running adventures and misadventures. (See my running milestones?)
Hmmm, am I really missing myself?
I guess not.
I'm still myself. I'm still the same simple Madelin turned MinnieMadz turned MinnieRunner. I still dreamed of being a housewife (ha ha, that's my ambition back when I was in Grade 2). I still love my family, they are my strength and my fortress. And no questions asked, I'm still truly, madly, deeply in love with my angel, the love of my life. Hmmm, admittedly, I'm still not good at friendships - I still, most of the time, invest too much affection when I should have not.
So what am I missing if I'm not missing myself?
I guess I'm missing my blog. Since this blog had been known to many (online and offline friends), I find it awkward posting My Unrevealed Thoughts in here. Unlike before, when there's only a few individual who visits my blog, I can frankly post whatever I feel. But now, I become more cautious, for I don't want any trouble. (Here I go again, wanting to please everybody. *sigh*)
A friend told me to create another blog, a private one, an online diary/journal. Seems like I don't want to entertain the idea. I am currently maintaining five (5) blogs. Having another one would be too much. Moreover, I still want to gain readership. Let's say, I wanted to retain my anonymity in order to fearlessly post what I wanted to. Or maybe, some things are better left unsaid. But somehow, having something to look back and read, knowing how you feel at that very moment, and how you survive or get pass through it; gives a priceless smile on your face and undefinable happiness in your heart. And that is exactly what I am missing.
I'm strange right? I'm just crazy! Forgive my foolishness!
5 comments:
I had the same thoughts back then that's why I made a new blog... Anyway, you're not crazy! :D I guess there are times wherein we suddenly ponder on things and then boom! haha! I dunno what I just said. Okay... we're crazy but in an awesome way haha!
hahhaha....kakatuwa ka talaga sis....:) you guys should settle down na...I can't wait to see you both walking in the aisle..eheehe!
haha, ako rin nagbabasa ng mga old posts ko thru the archives. ako kasi ang pinamabait na admirer at pinakamasamang critic ng sarili ko. :)
Ang una kong reason sa paggawa ng blog ay para maging kumikitang kabuhayan kasi na-inspire nga ako sa'yo diba, hehe.
pero ngayon, naiisip ko, parang wag na lang din, nag-eenjoy ako na magsulat, although katulad mo medyo may pumipigil din sa akin (in terms of privacy). nung una kasi wala akong pakialam kasi iniisip ko wala namang magbabasa, pero what if meron iba na makabasa. hay, bahala na si batman, basta ie-enjoy ko na lang muna ang pagsusulat sa blog. :)
-susie
the pic of the girl is so cute and when i also saw the pic, I've also been instantly gripped with emotions. lol most of the blogs nowadays turned into a money-making blog so you're not alone. lol waaah.. you're maintaining 5 blogs? isnt that too hard? if you miss your old self, try going back to your old post/s too and you'll be surprised on how you see yourself smiling
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